I Blame Me

I blame me for all my mistakes I blame me for all the rejection and heartache I blame me for all the times I stayed silent and should have started and earthquake with my words I should have spoken up when I had the chance now all those thoughts are wasted unspoken, unheard I blame me when my husband touches me and I feel the hands of a predators pounce And I blame me when the pressure it on because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name Lord, help me to get rid of the shame I blame me for my loneliness I blame me for my feelings of lust I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust At times not even sure if I really know how to love I blame me when my kids are crying out sick because when I brought them here I knew that this world was unfit Yet overpowered by my love for them I became more and more protective So I blame myself in advance for their sadness when they finally see that the world is not objective I blame me for those nights I can't rest Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized that I have done my best to stay positive and have good intentions So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions and begin to feel ashamed of myself I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself because good things don't happen for me So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence I have nothing I have given up and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut