I Ate Lettuce For a Year
I ate lettuce for a year
Only lettuce
And drank water
Lost sixty-four pounds
I have gained it back and sixty pounds more
I was young then, more disciplined
Now I am old; no one notices old
I can be any size I want.
I could be nine hundred pounds.
No one would notice
So now I eat barbequed chicken,
refried beans, mashed potatoes,
beef and noodles, cheeseburgers,
pepperoni pizza, frozen spaghetti,
frozen lasagna,
For dessert I have coconut cake,
pumpkin pie with whipped cream,
triple chocolate cake with frosting,
cinnamon apple strudel, cherry cobbler
with vanilla ice cream, key lime pie,
or whatever else I want.
I cannot drink coffee unless I put in
three packets of sugars, a bit of
chocolate milk, and a packet of
sweetened hot cocoa.
These are foods I do not eat:
vegetables, fruits, or lettuce.
I cannot stand to even look at lettuce.
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