I Ate Lettuce For a Year

I ate lettuce for a year 
Only lettuce
And drank water
Lost sixty-four pounds
I have gained it back and sixty pounds more

I was young then, more disciplined
Now I am old; no one notices old
I can be any size I want.
I could be nine hundred pounds.
No one would notice

So now I eat barbequed chicken, 
refried beans, mashed potatoes,
beef and noodles, cheeseburgers,
pepperoni pizza, frozen spaghetti,
frozen lasagna, 

For dessert I have coconut cake,
pumpkin pie with whipped cream, 
triple chocolate cake with frosting,
cinnamon apple strudel, cherry cobbler
with vanilla ice cream, key lime pie,
or whatever else I want.

I cannot drink coffee unless I put in
three packets of sugars, a bit of
chocolate milk, and a packet of 
sweetened hot cocoa.

These are foods I do not eat:
vegetables, fruits, or lettuce.
I cannot stand to even look at lettuce.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Hankins Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 7:26 PM
(chuckling) but I don't know why. I'm amazed, because I love salads. When I snack, I try to snack on fruits. Tonight for dinner I had raw celery, raw carrots, and a peanut butter sandwich. Yum! Then, I ate four pinapple rings for dessert.
Hankins Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 8:08 PM
No, I'm not, actually. Truth be known, I eat what I like. I love peanut butter sandwiches, and I often have a garden salad when I'm too lazy to cook, and that is most of the time the summer. I start cooking in the winter...things like spaghetti and stews and such.
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 7:48 PM
This is so beyond my scope, I have no words. You must be so healthy!
Rigoler Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 2:50 PM
I'm surprised you survived at all, Caren!!! Getting all that weight back must have been devastating? / Maurice
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 7:48 PM
It is just something that has happened.
Dietrich Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 1:54 PM
so funny, Caren. but they WOULD notice if you were 900 pounds because society is all about noticing stuff like that. I went a week eating nothing at all in order to get back my original weight when I left Madrid to return to the states. I lost the ten pounds I had gained in that marvelous country . today I highly doubt I could redo that starvation diet. I make it a priority today to eat 7 veggies (or some fruits) daily . Cancer got me to do this. Otherwise, I could be eating my old ways!
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 7:49 PM
Cancer changes people incredibly fast Andrea; I hope it never comes back to you.
Rodrigues Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 9:55 AM
I feel more or less the same! I do try to get in some veggies and fruits but isn’t life a bit too short to just deny yourself.
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 10:56 AM
I do not like fruits or veggies any more sadly.
Hawkins Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 2:30 AM
Being happy in your own skin... What could be more satisfying than that.
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 6:42 AM
I am pretty happy with myself.
Bauer Avatar
October 17, 2021 at 4:07 PM
great ending! i don't blame you one bit - i'd never eat lettuce again either. it's amazing the things we did when we were young to "improve" ourselves. it's great to be older and not give a hoot!
Krutsinger Avatar
October 18, 2021 at 6:43 AM
No one should have done that to their body and yet I did. All I did was eat lettuce and drink water for one year; I looked like a starving waif and I thought I looked "good".
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