Su Ben Poet Free verse

I Am Tired of Everything

I become tired of living the way I lived
that’s why I decided to struggle upstream,
however, I was pushed downward overwhelmed by the current.

I left her because I felt disgusted with her as the days past,
nonetheless, the farther I went, the more and more I missed her.

I crumbled on the ground because I was tired
and unable to hold myself any longer,
however, as soon as I flopped down, 
dark clouds suddenly appeared in the corner of the sky 
and poured down becoming a torrential rain, I lost the resting place.

I am afraid of going to bed these days
because, one after another, I see grim pictures 
every night in my dream.
And that’s why I learn to sleep with my eyes open, however, 
ticking of the clock is so rhythmical that it makes me feel stifled.

Everyone has left me, old good neighbors and trusted friends 
I wanted to keep by my side forever.  Even foes I want to
challenge though kept at a certain distance, left me.

I call every name, whether cherished ones
or ones I disliked because I was so lonely.

No matter how desperately I cry,
no one comes to me but the names 
shattered to pieces return as an empty echo.

I close my eyes because I cannot hold on any longer.
With the word renunciation tears well up in my eyes.

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