Davin Payne Poet Free verse

I Am Shy

I get nervous in front of crowds
my first words are usually shaky
I can stand straight but take a few steps 
in a direction corresponding with that awkward moment
you realize
everyone is listening, interpreting, judging, sympathizing
just trying to understand
the first time I gave a speech was 6th grade
the teacher said its hard speaking in front of a class
who wants to try?
I got brave and took the spotlight
only to find I was blinded
and at a loss for words
show and tell was stress
I ate my silence
I just want to connect, on a grande scale
fast, quick, and easy
The only speaking that mattered 
was my great grand mothers funeral
I was the oldest of a generation
I spent a while getting my thoughts down
what I said lasted only a few minutes
the words echo in my head
have been
and probably will till death
I want to lead a group into chaos
get everyone to dance
become wild creatures fleeting on our fairest fancies
seek joy and fearlessly love
express in a healthy way
be aware
I'm just trying to connect
I am shy

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