Home » Poems » Sam Russell » I ain’t enough

I ain’t enough

I ain’t enough, and I know that truth
Like a blade in the chest or a cracked front tooth.
She’s gold-dust real, while I’m broke and bruised—
Tryna be a king in worn-out shoes.

She walks in rooms, they freeze in awe,
Whole world bends to her silent law.
Me? I’m background noise, her “almost-there,”
She could blink once and they’d all be there.

I hustle hard, give soul and skin,
Still feel like I ain’t ever gonna win.
Every joke I drop, she half-way laughs,
I write love in books; she skims right past.

She don’t need saving — she’s fire, not glass,
But I keep bleeding just to make her ask.
Like if I shine bright, just one more time,
She might say “damn, you’re finally mine.”

But deep in the dark where my demons feed,
I feel like a draft pick she didn’t need.
Like I got lucky — a glitch in fate,
And she’ll wake up soon, say “this was a mistake.”

I scrub my flaws, I polish pain,
Tryna earn her heart like it’s some campaign.
But what if love ain’t earned or won?
What if I’m just not the one?

What if she stays just long enough
To prove I’m right — I’m not enough?
What if I break just to see her free
And she don’t even turn to look at me?

I ain’t her type — I’m her pause, her maybe,
The good guy role in her coming-of-age story.
She’s lightning, thunder, a thousand suns,
I’m holding candles, dropping puns.

But still I stay, and still I try,
Stackin’ stars to gift her sky.
‘Cause even if I ain’t “the one” she needs,
I’ll be the man who plants the seeds.

So when she leaves — ‘cause queens don’t beg —
I’ll rise alone on shattered legs.
Knowing I gave more than enough of me,
Even if she never truly did see.

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