How To Drive a Model 'T' Ford
'Tis a challenge fer the uninitiated to drive a Model 'T' Ford!
There sure ain't no starter, automatic transmission or GPS aboard!
To start it, you must select the magneto settin' and adjust the choke,
Then, at yer peril, spin the crank and pray that yer arm don't git broke!
There's a baffln' array of switches, levers and pedals to operate,
That take a heap of coordination to get the 'T' ready to navigate.
There's three pedals located on the floor - clutch, reverse and brake.
If you know yer left foot from yer right, drivin' the old girl is a piece of cake!
To go forward, advance the throttle lever located jes' below the steerin' wheel.
Press the clutch pedal with yer left foot - with experience you'll git the feel.
To back up, stop the car, disengage the clutch and press the pedal fer reverse.
Be sure there's nothin' behind you - you might hit yer mother-in-law or worse!
In an emergency, stomp all three foot pedals to avoid hittin' a telephone pole!
That'll bring you to a joltin' stop and provide you with a modicum of control.
Use the oogah-oogah horn to shoo chickens, cows and goats outta yer way.
If you slaughter a farmer's critters, you'll sure enough have 'ell to pay!
Now you know more'n you ever wanted to know about drivin' a Model 'T',
And you've gained this invaluable enlightenment and it was all fer free!
If you are foolish enough to drive a 'T' I'd advise you to drive with care,
And if I may paraphrase the Good Book - "Gird your loins with faith and prayer!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
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