Mary Rotman Poet Free verse

How To Describe a Butterfly Without Using a Cliche

Beauteous creature with iridescent...
No, no
Painted lady with colors bright...
No
Stained glass wings...
Maybe
Flitting, flying from flower to...
Definitely not.
Ugly tree-destroying caterpillar...
That's more like it
Reborn a beautiful butterfly...
Dagnabit
Scares the heck out of me when it lands
on my arm, so I crush it...
On the right track
And then I feel guilty for the rest of
my life...
Got it!
Stupid, senseless insect. What good are 
you anyway?

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Darlene Gifford August 23, 2015 at 7:18 PM Hi, Mary, I don't have any problem using clichés, except I try and put a new twist to them. Give them new life. Butterflies to me are like beautiful flying flowers! And I think that anything that adds beauty to our world is a welcome addition. Yes, I got it, how you felt about crushing one. I don't think you meant those angry remarks. I suspect you were more angry at yourself when you wrote those closing remarks. Mary Rotman August 24, 2015 at 9:27 PM Darlene, I truly see you growing as a poet. I've been thinking about "flying flowers" all day. I wish I could think of something like that. I believe butterflies live about 3 days. You'll be happy to know i went to the butterfly garden here and conditioned myself not to be afraid of a butterfly landing on me! I even feel guilty for killing a fly. Darlene Gifford August 24, 2015 at 10:58 AM Believe me, Mary, my friend, I was not offended!I was only feeling your anguish over the killing of a butterfly. It frightened you and you responded.That's understandable.I'd do the same for a spider, but I would have no remorse.(Your remark about feeling guilty for a lifetime, yes, I caught that humor.) Coincidently, isn't that about how long some butterflies live? I know they have a short lifespan. Mary Rotman August 23, 2015 at 8:11 PM I'm sorry you were offended. I was just trying to be funny. DId you catch the bit about where I'll feel guilty for a lifetime?And if you give it a new tiwst, it's not a cliche. "Flying flowers" I've never heard before. That's awesome.

Andrea Dietrich August 18, 2015 at 10:40 PM I have time to see this one again, and Mary, this is really good. I totally understood what you were going for!

Andrea Dietrich August 14, 2015 at 4:10 PM hahaha, I understand what you are trying to do here, and I LOVE the effect. I just had to stop and check THIS one out.

Jan Allison August 12, 2015 at 4:45 AM Gosh i better rip up the poem I started and begin again Mary lol - seriously ... love the humour here! good luck! hugs jan xx Jan Allison August 12, 2015 at 1:11 PM Not at all offensive Mary it made me smile - so difficult to write something fresh and unique and this certainly is!:-) Hugs Jan xxx Mary Rotman August 12, 2015 at 1:00 PM Thanks, Jan. It never occurred to me it would be offensive--do you think it will be? It's about the battle in myself to try ad write without cliches. Do you think others might see it in the wrong light?