Mary Rotman | + Follow Poet |
Free verse | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

How To Describe a Butterfly Without Using a Cliche

Beauteous creature with iridescent...
No, no
Painted lady with colors bright...
No
Stained glass wings...
Maybe
Flitting, flying from flower to...
Definitely not.
Ugly tree-destroying caterpillar...
That's more like it
Reborn a beautiful butterfly...
Dagnabit
Scares the heck out of me when it lands
on my arm, so I crush it...
On the right track
And then I feel guilty for the rest of
my life...
Got it!
Stupid, senseless insect. What good are 
you anyway?

Copyright © Mary Rotman | Year Posted 2015

Please Login to post a comment

Darlene Gifford Date: 8/23/2015 7:18:00 PM Hi, Mary, I don't have any problem using clichés, except I try and put a new twist to them. Give them new life. Butterflies to me are like beautiful flying flowers! And I think that anything that adds beauty to our world is a welcome addition. Yes, I got it, how you felt about crushing one. I don't think you meant those angry remarks. I suspect you were more angry at yourself when you wrote those closing remarks. Login to Reply Mary Rotman Date: 8/24/2015 9:27:00 PM Darlene, I truly see you growing as a poet. I've been thinking about "flying flowers" all day. I wish I could think of something like that. I believe butterflies live about 3 days. You'll be happy to know i went to the butterfly garden here and conditioned myself not to be afraid of a butterfly landing on me! I even feel guilty for killing a fly. Darlene Gifford Date: 8/24/2015 10:58:00 AM Believe me, Mary, my friend, I was not offended!I was only feeling your anguish over the killing of a butterfly. It frightened you and you responded.That's understandable.I'd do the same for a spider, but I would have no remorse.(Your remark about feeling guilty for a lifetime, yes, I caught that humor.) Coincidently, isn't that about how long some butterflies live? I know they have a short lifespan. Mary Rotman Date: 8/23/2015 8:11:00 PM I'm sorry you were offended. I was just trying to be funny. DId you catch the bit about where I'll feel guilty for a lifetime?And if you give it a new tiwst, it's not a cliche. "Flying flowers" I've never heard before. That's awesome.

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/18/2015 10:40:00 PM I have time to see this one again, and Mary, this is really good. I totally understood what you were going for! Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/14/2015 4:10:00 PM hahaha, I understand what you are trying to do here, and I LOVE the effect. I just had to stop and check THIS one out. Login to Reply

Jan Allison Date: 8/12/2015 4:45:00 AM Gosh i better rip up the poem I started and begin again Mary lol - seriously ... love the humour here! good luck! hugs jan xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/12/2015 1:11:00 PM Not at all offensive Mary it made me smile - so difficult to write something fresh and unique and this certainly is!:-) Hugs Jan xxx Mary Rotman Date: 8/12/2015 1:00:00 PM Thanks, Jan. It never occurred to me it would be offensive--do you think it will be? It's about the battle in myself to try ad write without cliches. Do you think others might see it in the wrong light?