How much do you love

Do you still love me Jehovah. If you do, why are my troblems so many. Why are my enemies like the grains of the sand. Why is calamity my predator. I am afraid to chose, to talk, and to act because the repocussion is like an untimely bomb. I chose to serve you, and yet I see no great satisfaction. I chose to love you, but I find no great love. Am I deceiving myself not seeing you love or am I deceiving myself thinking you love me. There is nothing special about me. I am not great. I am not exquisitely beautiful. I am not excessively godly. I am nothing desirable. I am just me, but I chose to love you because you love me first. But how much do you love me, do you tresure me or do you think I am lost cause. I am asking you Jehovah, how much do you love me.