How It Begins
I don’t want it to happen, but it does
This craving urge that cannot be resisted
It starts with a sensation that begins deep within
A desire to be pleasured and satisfied
Through the hot sweats I can sense the overcoming feeling of sickness
It begins in my stomach, but then travels to my mind and emotions
But I can’t stop in the middle of it all
Even if I could, the sickness is already there
I’m always prepared with the necessities for the end
Whether it be a box cutter or an Xacto knife
A lighter to melt away the last result that presents itself over and over again
It begins with a tight grip, usually my hand on my leg
Holding the skin with force makes it easier and all the better
I take a deep breath in to ready for the start
Necessities and skin meet, not for the first time
The Red Sea parts and flows with waves of relief
Watching it, like the sunset, but with dirty voices
How disgusting I feel, how disgusting it feels to be this way
Such a dirty, dirty whore
But there are no tears
I redress my body and feel the stinging relapse throughout the day
But I pay no attention to it; I just let it be
And I usually make some coffee and sit down on the couch
Watching a movie, and doing word search or Sudoku puzzles
Like nothing ever happened
Just like nothing ever happened
And that’s usually how it ends
Written November 5, 2009
Copyright © Kristin Baker | Year Posted 2009
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment