Honest Regret
When the belltole of 3am hits the air
the vibration, rings out like despair-yelling.
and the feeling of calm decays into nigh- into nigh
when it no longer stays the grey, light is killed to dark
this wave of care disappears so slowly, time freeze
even though i've said the famous "I'll be okay"
body feels like quicksand has swallowed it whole, I suppose
too difficult to weave arms and toss legs
the numbing begins,
Opening Pandora box in an erratic vocal matter
a friendly ear to venture all the clutter and chatter-empathy
and the feelings of emptiness heists into high- into high
dig deeper into the past's parade, a kid hollow in pain
raped by evil in the form of humans, oh why
Into adult years I've said that cliche "thrown to the wolves"
This barren waste I've called my heart is toxic, so ataxic
over tiresome to let people into my walls entrance
the deadening begins,
Now the push to end the pain begins at the morning
When the words "I think of you as a friend" kills me- dampening
and the feelings of reality drain into my mind- my mind,
The part to moveing on, is there is no moving of the middle organ
this mind feels like sighing like a wave pushing rocks, I propose
too ridden to throw my thoughts to dry paper and over-inked quills.
the life begins,
without you
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