Sotto Poet Poet Free verse

Hidden Mental Side

December 03, 2023
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Dissipating drowsiness
In the elmwood of the mind
Eras and realities collide
Having body crawl
In the gloomiest of night hazy drizzle.

Dullness seeps in
Across increasing veins
As faraway as the sunshine
Switches to a slower pace
Laughter from a bygone era
Cuts and scrapes
Leaving me breathless.

The resolve is unwavering
And sustains the ultimate breath
Every day in bitter shadows
In pursuit of Eden insight
My cornea has been burned.

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Anne-Lise Andresen December 4, 2023 at 12:52 PM - Anxiety is so painful and it triggers shortness of breath and suffocation…let the sunshine in… a deeply emotional poem, Las - hugs

Sam Kauffman December 4, 2023 at 11:59 AM So powerful and so personal, Lasaad! "In pursuit of Eden insight," "bitter shadows," "dissipating drowsiness" - your command of vibrant imagery that expresses your poem is truly wonderful. You have such a command of words and unique word pairings that create any atmosphere you desire to bring me into to revel in your poem! If this is for a contest, best wishes for a win. Blessing, dear friend.

Jay Narain December 4, 2023 at 11:01 AM Very evocative and emotional poem. Well penned.

Ink Empress December 3, 2023 at 8:27 PM This entire poem is evocative and very soulful, a poem that depicts hidden darkness and how one struggles. I somehow resonated with these lines “Laughter from a bygone era,Cuts and scrapes,Leaving me breathless.” Sometimes when we reminisce and think of happy times whilst drowning, we may end up feeling breathless, good times too can be haunting for an individual struggling in darkness. I absolutely love and felt the depth of this deeply moving write. And your way with phrasing all is impeccable

Paige Hind December 3, 2023 at 6:54 PM Heavy, I could relate though. You're fighting veins that open- and close. I enjoyed.

Hilda Greenhough December 3, 2023 at 2:02 PM Never get depression. Never admit age. Getting involved is fun. I like the poem

Paula Goldsmith December 3, 2023 at 12:38 PM A powerful write. Sleep/rest well tonight... Have a wonderful day/week writing away..........

Silent One December 3, 2023 at 12:30 PM I can feel the angst and anxiety in your words.. sadly so many suffer from this and others do not notice.. ive known people who have suffered in silence all the lives.. its always best to talk to someone about it and seek help.. as always your described it so poetically..

Miranda Hawley December 3, 2023 at 10:40 AM Sleep better dude! Lack of sleep is something I had a ton of when I was dealing with deep depression!