Hidden Hurt

Awake in my bedroom, rigid with fear The man I call lover is coming so near No sweet gentle touch is waiting for me But the vile look of anger is all i can see. What did I do wrong? Screams loud in my head Was it something I did or something I said? The blood pulses hotly inside my ears The sweat rises sharply alerting my fears I smile at him calmly though it's all a front He twists up my face and I feel the first thump. The fists keep on coming again and again I beg to myself to keep strong, feel no pain But the pain overtakes, my head is just spinning He's kicking and biting no end no beginning A knife he gets out and holds up to my throat And then I drift out taken away in a boat   to a beautiful place in my in my dreams I presume, I'm no longer there in that terrible room. A part of my mind has saved me for now I don't know the reason, I can't tell you how While my body was going through torturous hell My heart and soul were kept safe and well The beating has stopped and he looks at me crying I say it's alright but we both know  I'm lying He says that he's sorry, that I made him do it My eyes dead and hollow I just agree to it Too weak to object, self respect in the dirt Just grin and bear it My deep hidden hurt.