Heroin

I am 18 years old
I just found out that I spend most of my time sleeping, 
I am obsessed with it. 
I have lived for 9,460,800 minutes
Most of which I waste on sleep
Sleeping is my personal heroin,
It lets my arms as a pair of wings  to fly me  to paradise.
When I want to escape from reality,    
I shoot it up my veins.

One day, my mom was chatting with her friends, 
When they discussed my studies, 
I looked down at my shoes while their children smiled smugly.
Their smiles struck my wings like lighting
The path to my paradise began to disappear 
I thought I could use my broken wings to open their eyes 
so that they would see my true face
But this was just my imagination
I needed a hit so bad that I slept for 3 days
Feeling likes a puppet, no pain as my strings are pulled
My dream leads me into that sense again,
I looked at their lips and heard their words, proudly I say to her friends, “I am better than your child.”
When I awake, I feel my emotions flood back to me stronger than before

When I was in high school,
I worked so hard but I still couldn’t achieve a score to be proud of
When I see my father’s rough hands, I am shamed by my B Grade Paper.
Then I begin to think what I can do for him, 
I ask: “DAD! Can I go to get a part-time job?

“No, getting back to your studies!”

I prepared to take another shot of heroin
To help me pretend as if nothing happened
I used to think that sleeping would solve my ailments
    But I realized 
I realized that I am escaping
   Like boxers hide behind their gloves 
Like timid warriors escape from the battlefields

These years, I am search in for peace
But opiate feeling blinds my eyes
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Agustin Avatar
June 21, 2024 at 11:51 PM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
A   Avatar
February 15, 2016 at 12:07 PM
Hanyue, Enjoyed the way you expressed every line. Please keep writing and sharing your poetry. LOVE LINDA
A  Avatar
November 15, 2015 at 10:35 PM
Hanyue, I really enjoyed this poem thanks for sharing **SKAT**
Andresen Avatar
November 8, 2014 at 12:48 PM
- Warm welcome to PoetrySoup, Hanyue - I choose your first very well written free verse - Nice to meet you! - Hope you will be satisfied with our "soup family" - we are many .. but has plenty of room for you too- Be kind and keep PoetrySoup as a haven -(Comment on the poetry of others and they will comment on yours.) Thank you for posted your words and thoughts here, I want to come back to read more another day. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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