Danny Derden | + Follow Poet |
Quintain (Sicilian) | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

Her Spirit Woke Her

His fever broke her
With such lying charm
Her spirit woke her
To his mental harm
Left that sad joker

I know it's not iambic pentameter but I was intentionally going for a 5/5/ababa quintain and Sicilian was the closest.

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Duke Beaufort Date: 9/22/2025 4:26:00 AM Danny, iambic pentameter is not the best for being direct. Short is sometimes much more powerful. Good message here about the dangers of lying to a relationship. The only thing that works faster to destroy one is cheating. One's ability to be faithful means a lot. It shows a degree of self-control. Smiles!! Login to Reply Danny Derden Date: 9/22/2025 1:55:00 PM Sadly I've too much second hand experience with these things, female family members have had some rough times...but things are looking up this past year, lessons are being learned & lives are changing trajectory.

Sara Etgen-Baker Date: 9/21/2025 5:37:00 PM your message was clear and important; for me, that's what matters more than 'exactness.' Login to Reply Danny Derden Date: 9/22/2025 1:54:00 PM My thoughts as well.