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Heartbreak Recipe

Ingredients:
  Someone gullible
  Sweet-sounding lies
  Fake love
  Wasted time

  Step 1: Find someone gullible, someone you can easily trick into loving you. The more they fall for you, the more heartbreak you will create.

  Step 2: Use your sweet-sounding lies to lure them in. The bigger the lies, the better. It doesn’t really matter what they are; “I love you” is the classic lie used, but you can also get creative: “You are beautiful”, “I want to stay together forever”, “You are the only one I want”, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you”, etc. will suffice.

  Step 3: Once you have lured your subject in with your sweet-sounding lies, it’s time to use your fake love. This part is a bit more work; you may have to do or buy things for them, but it’s all worth it in the end. Use whatever means necessary to guarantee that they fall in love with you. You really want them to fall head-over-heels.

  Step 4: Throughout the use of the fake love, make sure to create a lot of wasted time. The more wasted time you create, the more heartbreak will be made in the end.

  Step 5: Now it’s time for the fun part: creating the heartbreak. Now you need to be careful on this part. It needs to be perfectly timed, so that the subject is fully in love and believes you are as well. If they suspect anything, the effect may be ruined. Make sure to end the relationship in the most painful way. This is different for every subject, but almost every time it is best to leave them without an explanation. It creates the most heartbreak. Common painful ways include: breaking up over the phone or text, breaking up in a public place so as to create humiliation, or, my personal favorite, simply saying nothing to the subject and getting together with another person as the subject watches. 

  Step 6: Now you can enjoy your freshly-made heartbreak, and do it all over again!

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