Heartbreak On a Boulder of Pain

I RELAPSE Waiting for she who will bring me my heart I lay on my sofa Arms outstretched Reaching for my heart far astride. I try hard sweeping a cursory look round my enclave My neck stiff; life is full of pain. My eyes clueless, what I see The cobwebs and the dust of yesterday’s misery My teeth frosty in the silhouette A life is at stake. A heart is meant to be soft, subtle But when I feel my chest, all I feel is a stone, A large formless stone Every feel, every sense, every thought Seems worthless, meaningless For my heart has been sucked dry Off the last vestiges of emotions The window blinds high up, Stealing momentary flashes at the world that lies Beyond the windows, What I see is a cruel world, a world full of scavengers A world of greed and avarice I pull at my ears, I feel nothing It seems I have lost touch with sound, All I feel, all I hear, all I see is silence. Am I alive? I keep asking myself But within these same walls I smiled, I laughed, I danced And she sat on this same sofa with me We even drank from the same glass of wine What must have gone wrong? Life is full of changes That I know, but I never envisaged this type of change. II RECOVERY My eyes up, focused on the ceiling Then some words begin to form… With my lipless mouth, I form out the words “Hope is what keeps you going even when all hope is lost, So never you lose hope on hope, hope will one day take you to The place of your dreams” …from a distance I hear the chirping of the birds and The sounds of a tom tom singing the song of a new day.