Hate

I hate myself

I want to be stronger but I can't

I'm broken and broken I stay

just swirling in this sea of uncertainty

I'm in this whirlpool of emotion actions and I feel drained

all the essence of me is gone..

I can't find it...

I can't find the fighter within me

I just can't

I believe that I , I cross the seven seas looking for it I might find it along the way...

but right now 

I got no idea where the essence is left

I just don't want to be

I don't want anything

my essence must lay crumpled somewhere along the way that took me to this place...

maybe if I check my steps I'll see where it lays

but I don't have the force to rewind it and understand what happened or what is going on...

I just don't want to be anything

If just existence decided to leave me alone I might get some peace.

But peace is something I won't find or so it seems.

So defeated I feel, there's no force behind my actions...

I can't find it in me anymore 

I despise myself cause I'm wasting oxygen people surely will need in the future.

so I express my apologies darling unknown strangers

I'm sorry

lifememefree verse

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