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happy, lifeless tragedy

My sight decreasing in size, I’m still feeling warm inside. Though, I spy from far away, A figure growing dark in day. I take a deep breathe. Shall it be my last? My eyes are closing, World gone and black. Whirlwind of colors, Drifting through my visions. Happy, lifeless tragedies, A smile that’s gone bad. Take a needle to my arm. I think I recall that day. There it is again, I thought that would be the end. In a way it was, Then again, only the reason, I am here today; Lifeless and growing dim. A vision comes by, My mother standing before me, Here the words again, “Leave! Don’t ever come back.” Salty, dead tears sliding past, A face filled with despair. I see the one who’d took me in, She’d made some bad decisions. I didn’t mind simply because, There was nowhere for me, To live a life anywhere else, Except this lifeless tragedy. The walls were thin, Rooms filled with chills. There wasn’t much, But this was home. The money went away rapidly, Spent every dollar on Heroine, Spent every cent on needles. Ironic, it was no hero. Day by day, night by night, Day equals heroine, Night equals, find it. Life equals, already dead. Now here I am, Body cold, Eyes won’t open, Life is gone. Take a breathe, Try, at least. You touch my hand. It feels warm, it’s good. Something wet and salty falls, Upon my cold, dead cheeks. I hear the words, “I’m sorry.” Pour from your lips to my ears. I know it’s not your fault. Mine and mine alone. Here I am, now a corpse, Not just outside, but inside too. I realize I’m not breathing. Guess I’d better try. It hurts to try to pull in air, Gasp, Gasp. “I want to die.” I close my eyes, I try to breathe. You grow farther. I hear a click. You pull the trigger.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

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Date: 6/9/2010 9:26:00 AM
I enjoyed reading your poetry this morning Nicole. Wishing you the best always in your writing endeavors. Love, Carol
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