Happy Holidays

The world has so many holidays So here are a few of my own This one is truly my favorite It's called, "Go away and leave me alone" In honor of my mother-in-law I take off the entire day I don't have to answer the telephone She can't even look my way Another one that I've invented Is called, "The day of the missing sock" Come out, come out where ever you are And join the rest of the flock And then there's, "The day of the pizza" Now do you really have to ask me why? For everyone needs a day off of work Just to enjoy that pizza pie And what about "The day of the mirror" Where I stare at myself all day This holiday just never gets old It just takes my breath away And then there's "The day of Garbage" When I don't take out the trash I build me a castle with empty cans Til it comes tumbling down in a crash And then, "The Great day of the toliet seat" Though my wife wasn't happy with me For I didn't raise that lid all day Each time that I had to go pee