Happy Birthday To Me

My back is hurting and my knees are shot I hate the stairs and can’t get up from a squat I’ve got arthritis and my vision’s blurred I have one drink and my speech gets slurred My kids are grown and my youth is gone My bladder is full long before dawn I peed twice last night, it was not a thrill I wake up every morning to a handful of pills It’s been half a century and it’s gone by fast I now pray for my hips and faculties to last My hair has turned grey and old I am I can no longer hear worth a tinker’s dam My golden years are now coming into view I’ve lost some of my teeth and it’s a struggle to chew My prostate is enlarged and it’s getting tough to pee Another year of torture, Happy Birthday to me