Happiest Science Teacher

Good morning Poison Squirrels, Today I am going to address your bowel problems My class groans. We don’t like to think about them. We are teens. Your mouth chews up food, right? Asks Mr. Lee. Our science teacher is way too cheery in the morning. One student out of thirty-one nods. Mr. Lee focuses on her. Saliva lubricates the food then sends it down the esophagus. He draws a saxophone-looking cartoon on the board. Muscles of the esophagus propels the food into your tummy! He says this with a flourish, and shakes a couple of red pompoms. One girl laughs. Same girl. She must be gunning for an A. Your stomach muscles breaks the food down into smaller pieces. Actually, turns it into a paste much like poi, it is called chyme. “Why don’t we call it poi?” asks a student who never is interested. “That’s an interesting question!” Mr. Lee says. “A very interesting question.” A small giggle starts from somewhere. He gives me a sharp look, and I realize it was from my throat. “Sorry,” I say, not meaning it at all. He nods. As if I was serious. Maybe I can still keep my C “Next we have the small intestines,” says Mr. Lee. He has continued to draw on his cartoon. Does anybody know what organs add the digestive juices? “OOOOHHHH!” someone says in a disgusting way. Dang it! It was me! “Liver?” Miss I-shall-get-my-A says. Science guy nods. “Anybody else?” He asks hopefully. “Heart?” our other class clown says. There is a shriek of laughter. Actually, several. Now I wish I had said that. Mr. Lee is not looking quite as happy. “Pancreas?” Another brown-nose yells out. Mr. Lee nods. “And Gallbladder,” he adds. The drawing looks almost done, and he is getting toward the bottom. “The large intestine is next,” he says. “Anybody care to guess how long it is?” “Seventy five feet?” the clown yells out. We all laugh. Mr. Lee is looking a whole lot less happy. We finally get down to the part where the rectum evacuates.the waste. I wisely put a hand over my traitorous mouth.