Home » Poems » Richard Lamoureux » Haiku Three

Haiku Three

Rabbit leaps forward
Rear feet leave marks on the snow
that white fur can't hide

naturehaiku

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Casarah Nance

Date: 10/30/2014 6:51:00 AM

That sure is a cool image, I can see little prints decorating the snow. :)

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 10/30/2014 8:58:00 AM

Good morning and thanks. I am short on time these days, please be patient with me.

Ivor Kos

Date: 5/21/2014 6:51:00 PM

Let's see what's in page 7, I thought. NICE Haiku, Richard!!!! I love this Haiku & I also love Rabbits! I owned two! Their names were Hansel & Gretel!! It's true. I enjoyed your Haiku.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/21/2014 6:56:00 PM

Thanks again Ivo. I have a friend who's pet rabbit lived 17 years.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/6/2013 3:59:00 PM

a nice picture, richard. I remember doing one about a rabbit one time!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 1/7/2013 7:48:00 PM

Dont know why I wrote about a rabbit, maybe residual affect from Easter.

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 1/6/2013 5:52:00 AM

the subject is now clear [rabbit] as a free verse writer coming to haiku was hard and this write is now more objective so that's a big speak in the right direction until you get a hold of the conceptual 'hang of it' try line 1 suject/line 2 action [one action only..since it's one frozen moment in time] & line 3 the surprise bit of sensory input [line 3 is the hardest to 'get']

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/6/2013 5:58:00 AM

my monoku [which means only haiku in a single line] [smudged charcoal on a full page--the kettle whistles] the subject is the drawing 'shown' by the smudged charcoal- showing rather than telling is the main key to haiku bringing the reader into the moment with the poet..my line 2 would have been on a full page [3/4/5] this is a modern haiku..you need to work awhile on the traditional ones

Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/6/2013 5:54:00 AM

a white rabbit/leaps leaving prints in the snow--a coyote howls

Irfana Ali Bhat

Date: 1/6/2013 3:19:00 AM

creates a nice visual....:)

Rollo West

Date: 1/5/2013 10:30:00 PM

Really a great Haiku my friend. Rollo

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 1/6/2013 12:23:00 AM

Thanks Rollo

Carma Sanderson

Date: 1/5/2013 10:25:00 PM

Great haiku Richard

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 1/6/2013 12:23:00 AM

Thanks Carma

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 1/5/2013 6:49:00 PM

try for 'simple as porridge'[ Jack Kerouac, On the Road ... “A real haiku's gotta be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing] if you are speaking of a rabbit say rabbit and the juxtaposed line must be a surprise, cause and affect is an easy trap to fall in but if you think is this tid-bit of info I am gifting a shift in perspective, a surprise bit of extra info? that will help you. Light & Love

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 1/6/2013 12:25:00 AM

Does this work better?