Home » Poems » Charmaine Chircop » Haiku - Oceans Apart

Haiku - Oceans Apart

misty horizon

oceans separate his lips

from drops on her cheeks


Or 


oceans part his lips

from wet drops marking her cheeks

misty horizon

absencehaiku

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Maria Williams

March 14, 2017 at 10:21 PM

Absolutely love this. Both versions are beautiful. A well deserved 7

Deborah Burch

March 8, 2017 at 2:49 PM

Both are beautiful!! :) if you're asking for input: here's an idea to consider... 'from drops on her cheeks oceans part his longing lips misty horizon' Well done my friend. Love your theme!:) Big Hugggs and love! deb

Lisa Ricci

March 8, 2017 at 1:40 PM

Hello Charmaine. Both are marvelously executed and expressed. However if you are asking the reader I like your first as it has more of an impact and expression. This is just my small opinion of course. The work belongs to you and you alone. Both versions are lovely. Well done