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Haiku 64 About the Tempest

 

a lone ship

 fades in morn's mist

the mast breaks


or


a lone ship 

fades in the mist

tidal wave 


3/4/3-contemporary haiku

absencehaiku

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Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

January 23, 2015 at 9:34 AM

a master!!!wow>love Charm

Liam Mcdaid

September 23, 2014 at 2:08 PM

very beautifully painted charmaine truly excellent piece

Casarah Nance

August 23, 2014 at 8:52 AM

wow, not such a happy ending, well said, you never know the wrath until it is upon you ;)

Debbie Duncan

August 20, 2014 at 6:10 PM

I do love a haiku :)

Debbie Guzzi

August 14, 2014 at 8:22 PM

Oh yes much much better both! smooch!! L & L

Debbie Guzzi

August 14, 2014 at 4:51 PM

K little one - your line 1 is the single line, it could be more explicitly sensory, the leap/aha is between your line 1 & the 2 line part which is fine!!! [the raft angles down][ the mast breaks] - see how that SHOWS a bad storm without saying tempest? [mountains of waves] Light & Love

Charmaine Chircop

August 14, 2014 at 6:18 PM

Hi ma ,thanks for the advice..Yes 'To show and not tell'..I got ir.Thanks for the advice,yes much better dear-mountains of hugs:.)