Xander Nathon Joale Chapclik | + Follow Poet |
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Gutted In the Rain

Gutted. Absolutely gutted.
I know fairytale from truth 
I know not all in life has a happily ever after
I know not everything works out
I know all of this
I never knew it could happen to me
I never knew I could be left gutted
I never thought I'd be left standing in the cold rain 
What happens when your princess says "I don't love you"
What do I do when I'm so deep in love I can't dig my way out
What happens when you become vulnerable and can't raise a shield
I've held my shield strong
I've held it for four years
Had my heart ripped out once
Had a transplant and said not twice
Lowered my shield
Professed my heart
Had my heart ripped twice
Need a transplant
I need a new heart
One that is harder
One that is colder
One that is sturdier than before
I've let my shield fall twice
The first I was young
The first I was fearless
The first gave me a joyless time
I said never again and raised my shield
Through my broken heart I healed
Through my broken heart I learned strength
Though my broken heart I became Hercules
More like Achilles
I became so confident
I became older
I became wiser
I wouldn't let anyone lower my shield 
Until her
She lowered my shield
She made my heart feel full again
She made me smile
She made me laugh
She made me feel loved
She made me feel wanted
She grounded me
She balanced out my flaws
She made me run
She made me jump
She made me giggle
She made me sigh
She made me feel like that young, dumb, eighteen year old again
Alas, she made me cry
She struck me down
She through my shield away
She brought me to my knees begging for mercy
She told me "I don't love you"
Her I sit
Cross from her on this bus
As we ride
plans are plans
My heart is rip'ing
I'm gutted
Standing in the cold rain
Princessless
Shieldless
Melted shattered heart
Gutted

Copyright © Xander Nathon Joale Chapclik | Year Posted 2017

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