Gulf Oil Spill.

Fox news. Fair and balanced: “ We now take you live…” MSNBC. The place for politics. “You are looking at a live shot…” CNN. The world turns to CNN. “This breaking news just in…” The President: “You should know that I’m trying, straining so hard. As I squint down at the gobs of petroleum lard. The last guy was clueless I won’t act like him. I’m cool and aloof and won’t act on a whim.” The American Public: “Never mind who. Never mind how. End this debacle. Do something now.” The CEO: “Let me say this right now, that we’re trying our best. All our global resources have been put to the test. I truly feel all your pain as I speak here to you. As I have stated before, I want my life back, too.” The Environmentalists: “Do anything! Anyone! May you burn twice in Hell! So smug and superior! Cap the damned well!” The Press: “We’re on this story, we’ll report, you decide! And 24/7, non stop coverage, we’ll provide! Keeping them honest, we’re the network news. We want those ratings, Bring in our panel for views.” A resident of the Gulf Coast: “Yes, your pictures are priceless And your words are like pearls. I live here and fish here. It’s the end of my world.” A Pelican: “I wear petrified slop as I adorn your news. Once a fisher, a flyer, now shackled in ooze. And I did nothing but live. Look me in the eye. Why did you kill me? For what did I die?” His Mate: “Do you care how you forage? Or do you ravage, instead? Let your greed in your claws Be all lathered with lead.”