Growing Up

Soft snoring, that is pleasant to my ears. Watching you sleep, doesn't erase my fears. You are growing up at a pace too fast for me. You are no longer that little boy for all to see. A teenager, almost out of school, and away from home. When you go to college, I'll feel hollow and terribly alone. I miss you being small and Mom fixing everything. I don't think I'm ready for all the fear and panic this brings. I don't want to smother you, yet I don't want you grown. Being with you everyday for so long is all I have known. The abandonment may be more than I can possibly bear. Afraid to let you go be a man, and pretend I do not care. It's tearing me up inside to know only a couple years left to go. Everyday closer to college seems to make my anxiety grow. I'll try not to embarrass you, and call every single day. But remember to call me so my nerves don't start to fray. It's hard for a Mom to let go and make these adjustments for life. You have no idea the things that you have to deal with, all the mental strife. I love you more and more as each new sunrise awakens the day. Hoping to see where your life and decisions turn out to play.