Growing Pains

From innocence Straight to womanhood From worrying about my dolls To worrying that you wouldn’t like the outfit I threw on in a matter of seconds From being a small child To not being small enough From feeling like I could rule the universe To feeling like I am being swallowed whole by it From being content To falling into a state of depression Engaging in everything Directing towards not having any energy Proving I am in pain The pain has meaning I am self-destructive, In hope my behavior will speak for me, Hoping I will not have to speak the truth Engaging in a silent clash with others, Seeing who is in more pain, Nobody will ever win