Growing

Can I be as strong as you say I am? I know I have strength after all I've made it through But to let other's in, I don't know if I can They always abuse me or use me or hurt me, I shut them out, I don't know what else to do I built a wall so long ago, inside my mind means nothing I'm glad you push me because it makes me better It makes me scared when you say to trust you I don't know what you want from me and I know you don't get it You say don't let one man make all the other's pay but That's not how it is. I would love for one man not to do the same It makes me nervous to tell you anything about myself But you promised not to tell or use it against me So I'm learning how to trust you Something I thought I'd never do Knowing I'm gonna have to pay for this Despite all your promises Now even though you're moving away, I know this friendship will be mine in the end Thank you for cracking the shell Thank you for helping me grow I might not be as strong as you say But I'm growing because you showed me how And the best thing is you're not moving now My new best friend is here for me But don't talk about marriage please I love you and I want it to stay that way. Sex only complicates things And marriage is hell on earth