Triny Xiang Poet Free verse

Grains of Loss

Recall the bike trip to Tennessee Valley
Remember the boat made of driftwood
I held in my hand the salty wet sand
How sand slips between fingers
How much was lost since he was little
When I was full of his helplessness
When he was a toddler clumps fell

As he grew into a boy and missed me less
I felt the grains of sand slip through
I envisioned him as a teenager
So little left of in that hourglass
As an adult in college, a little more fell
If he is lucky to find someone to marry
And his sand is held in someone’s hand
Mine will have reduced to grains

While my head grows frosty white
I dusted off these empty, cracked hands
Sticky pale sands between old fingers
Back to the car with my son, took off my shoes
Shook off the rocks and grains hidden in cracks
I realize now losing is an illusion
There’s always something holding on

Each grain was a reminder to remind me
Each precious moment is easily discarded
Still, the salty sand held onto me
A remainder of what is still here
When childhood slips into manhood 
And I’m still holding on to the past
To the memory of that bike ride
To that boat that never floats
Ever forgetting, ever lasting

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