Goodbye

Goodbye

One cut, the blood spills

It’s not because of you, was never “because”,
It was all FOR you-in my sick twisted, f***-up way….
In all reality you should hate me

Another cut, the blood drips slowly

You see...I’m selfish, so very selfish
I demand so much from you,
And I’m way to impatient

A third cut, the blood runs down along my arm

I must appologise, because I am nothing but a rotting darkness to you,
An infectious virus-disease-spreading wildly like a fire
And I fall down to the pit of despair-and I drag you down with me…

I cut again—and I can’t stop

It was ever your fault…NEVER
I’m the one to blame…I’m the one at fault because I cling to you
And I take from you what is not mine to take

More cuts. More blood…feel the sting of selfish loathing

I told you I have no one else
It’s not because of them though, it’s because of me
It was always me…I am the one to blame-ALWAYS to blame

Blood. Drip. Drip…Dripping to the floor

It’s because of this darkness that I AM
I scare people away-bad things always happen when I’m around
It’s no accident that people leave-or stay away from-me

A seventh cut, a saturated red rag…

Anger, Sorrow…frustration…and pain rage
I cause it all; I pull you down into the emptiness
I never should have…you don’t deserve me…

Two more…Three more…

You felt bad enough…and I just made it worse…so much worse…
This deepening sense of regret and guilt pull me down more and I drag you with me…
And you crash and fall…and again, feel the sting of my selfishness

Two more an then it’s over, I’m done…

The blood finally runs its course,
I have brought you down for the last time
I say, one last thing to you before I’m gone…

“I love you, you were everything to me and…hurting you…so much, I just cannot live with that. So I say to you, my final goodbye. My letter of regret and sorrow. I’m so sorry my dearest friend, but you deserve so much better… so much better than me my sweet friend…”

                                                                                “Goodbye…"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Breidenthal Avatar
August 9, 2013 at 8:13 PM
You are so much more than you think. This poem brings back some sad memories of various people I have known. It's not fun to watch those you love so much suffer and feel inadequate. It's a helpless, oppressing state to be in. Always, Laura
Rozario Avatar
October 11, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Are you into self harming? I hope not. Hmmm...I'm actually wondering who is this friend might be that you're mentioning in all your poems. If the person is someone from this site then I hope he/she is reading this!! Enjoyed your emotion filled poem.
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