Gone Hunting

(This is a fictional poem) My friend and I went hunting but it wasn't fun. He accidentally blew off my balls with his gun. He started laughing and I told him to shut up. He took a dump behind a bush and a rattlesnake bit his butt. He begged me to suck out the poison but I refused to suck his ___. He needed someone to suck it and he needed it fast. Someone agreed to suck his ___ if he'd pay him one hundred thousand dollars. He agreed but you should've heard how much he cussed and hollered. He had to sell his house and it makes him feel sick. But he doesn't have it as bad as me, I'm a eunuch. He has a big cardboard box that he lives in. The two of us agreed never to go hunting again.