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It’s Jubilee tea at my auntie’s care home Aunt Phyllis’s hair could do with a comb But she doesn’t mind and puts on her hat The queen won’t be there’s no need to flap The table is laden with all sorts of food Ada burps loudly she’s so blinking rude The cucumber sandwich crusts are cut off My hair won’t stay curly I hear Mable scoff! Gerald’s secreted cream scones on his lap I’d not touch them now he’s a dirty old chap There’s a heated debate is it scone or scon I do not comment as they have all gone! Old Edgar demands jelly and ice cream It’s not on the menu he begins to scream So he gets everyone to bang their tea cups They’re acting like kids and not like grown ups Along comes the matron she says ‘Dearie me, You are spoiling our Platinum jubilee tea’ Edgar gives her some lip - he’s adept at verbals He shout’s ‘Matron you just remind me of Goebbels’ Matron is livid, she turns puce in the face Edgar’s sent to his room, as he’s in disgrace He is reprimanded for causing such a scene At the jubilee party for our wonderful Queen. 06/02/22
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