God Misplaces the Dead

They were accounted for, they were officially dead, but the alarming fact was that large numbers of the dead had gone missing. Occasionally, still pinging cellphones were found in Hades, Purgatory, and other Bardo states. Olympus was drunkenly silent, as were almost all of the seven heavens. In nirvana, the footwear of some of the deceased, had been left in a pile awaiting a divine fire, footprints were seen as if waiting for a cooling wash in the fountain of everlasting life. The missing had presumably transported themselves to some less boneheaded ideas of the life after, one not yet imagined by any dogmatic priesthood. God was accused of not packaging the deceased properly. However the missing were never found having discovered their own way out of all that doctrinal, inconsequential madness.