God Knows I Am Sorry

The storm is coming, the wise say..... I blink in moments of reminiscing the pleasure, but it came with pain. Choices are never easy if making love wasn’t for the right reasons. I mean I didn’t love her I just lusted for her; big curvaceous thighs, apple type ass and her luscious breasts, simply cause she portrayed the image of the video vixens. I swear, my mother taught me be cautious but Put the vodka in the juice and mix it all up, and you Get one hell of a night, to remember. In which make the next day a blessing to wake up hung-over. I mean I’m young and stupidity is the only definition to explain why we do, what we do as youth. I could have stayed in doors and studied for my math test on Monday. But we live with Friday, being the day to chill the ice cube of stress, so I jumped in the car with the fellas, and headed to Tammy’s party. I was drunk before I got there and I was out of my conscious mind while I was there.... So she was interested in me and I was interested in making another moment to remember. So I write this letter to you, with deep remorse as I say.. I never loved your mother; and I wasn’t ready to be your father, if time then was now, I swear I would have never agreed to kill you, I wish my actions don’t tell a tale of who I am. Cause I always dreamt to have a child... being there every moment, When its born, being the arms it cries in, arms which comfort it, be the hand which hold the spoon to feed it, be there when it takes its first steps, clothed it, bath it, experience things like Taking it to school, making lunch, have conversations, laughs, moments of enlightenments, moments of frustrations, moments of father to child talks, seeing all sporting games, or being at every award show, taking pictures, ice cream moments, walks in the park. Do all the things with my child that my father never did. But I’m fatherless plus I was young and stupid.... although that’s no excuse I’m sorry again for agreeing to your murder. I’m imprisoned in guilt for life. Lebron Spirits