God Hates Me

A day in my life
I thought to help the wife
I got the vacuum out
A little run about
I plugged it in the wall
Odd, no sound at all
It must have blown a fuse
So I undid all the screws
I changed the fuse with new
When they blow that's what you do
Then I plugged the thing back in
Odd, still nothing, no din

I made a cup of tea
The thought occurred to me
Was the fuse that I thought new
A useless dead fuse too
I scratched my head and thought
Has some fluff and stuff got caught
And blocked up all the tube
Which may have blown the fuse

I was in a flux
So I got my toolbox
First I undid this
Then I undid that
And by the time I undid more
I had a pile of scrap

Now I was in a flap
As I tried to build it back
But I knew I lost the plot
Cos the pile was such a lot
When I knew I could not win
I launched it in the bin

So I went round to the store
Cos my vacuum was no more
And invested in one new
Took it home just like you do
But by the time I did unpack
I had another heap of crap
Cardboard and all that
So I burned it round the back

I plugged my new vacuum in
Odd, still no distinctive din
I was most bemused
I thought a new one can't be fused
So I changed the fuse in new
Then thought I will vacuum , like you do

Odd, not a peep
From my new electric sweep
I thought there's something funny here
Something strange and *****
The room was not its norm
It had no bubbly warm
Then I looked at my aquarium
The fish they did not swim
No lights or bubbling glow
That keep them on the go

I switched the light shade on
No light there just was none
Then I tried the chandelier
No lights from that either

I sat down with a grin
It was hard to take it in
I reflected on the day
The one that cost me pay
I had dismantled something good
For no reason that I should
Then threw it in the bin
And then invested in another
When the first one had no bother

I felt so ashamed but I had myself to blame
I thought, Scott you are a nut
Scott you are a smut
Did you not realise
There has been a power cut
Outside
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011


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Date: 12/12/2011 10:08:00 PM
oh, my, yes, I have had these kinds of days where EVERYthing goes wrong You told it so well, Congratulations on your win.
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Date: 12/12/2011 10:30:00 AM
Congratulations on your placement in Frank's "A History Of One Day" contest John. Love, Carol
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Date: 12/10/2011 9:42:00 AM
Very nice John.Congrats on your win.
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Date: 12/10/2011 5:45:00 AM
Congratulations on your win. What a day x
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Date: 12/8/2011 6:22:00 AM
Enjoyed this humerous write! Best wishes Em :)
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Date: 12/8/2011 5:16:00 AM
The motto of the story is make sure the world outside is alive and vibrant before spending good money on unwanted electric appliances
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