Fruitcake Doorstops

if you have lived to see either side of 30, you have been offered a fruitcake--- it might have been round these “holiday” times, when people celebrate their fictional characters that got the horrible religions rolling, or the fictional meal that didn’t seem to stop the genocide of this empire’s native people--- perhaps, you might’ve gotten lucky & had one shoved in your face at another time of the year, no doubt, when this gift that will no doubt be around for the cockroaches & rats to feast on when us humans finally off ourselves in a nuclear smorgasbord (that so many are counting on, hoping & “praying” for), was rewrapped from said “holiday” & passed on to you so that you could do the same to someone even more unfortunate. said to be spawned in ancient Rome, the common recipe for this dessert that seems to disgust so many & yet get reproduced every single year, without fail, contains nuts & candied fruit at its base, extending its contents from this to a wide range of everything from honey, spices & even booze---but it all begs the question, “is there a place for fruit cake?” even people who say they like it, are never really found eating it & even those who are found eating it, never really finish a whole piece--- so, why not find a use for this cake? why not use it for a doorstop? we always need more of them? why not use them on the battlefield instead of expensive sandbags? why not build garages with them in the most arid parts of the empire? could use them for roadblocks, ****, the possibilities are endless--- think about it.