For My Friends In Erie

For my friends in Erie, PA. If you've found this poem, congratulations. You've just solved my most intricate social puzzle to date. As your reward, you now have access to all my angsty works of "art" (dare I call it that) from my teenage years. You also have all my more recent "I'm bored and alone" poems from the past couple years. You'll notice a steep decline in those, for notable reasons. Congratulations. Let the roasting begin.