Follicle Regression

As he brushed his golden locks, he detected something stressing.
The skin around his noble forehead was inexorably progressing!
(Politically correct types tend to call this "follicle regression!")
Alarmed at this discovery, he suffered terrible depression!

"Follicle regression", now that was a mysterious term to him.
It left him totally confused and feeling somewhat grim.
He consulted his Funk 'n Wagnalls for a simple definition.
Alas, this august tome had no explanation for his condition!

A visit to his barber further compounded his dismay.
"The only solution I see for your plight is a nice toupee.
Son, you have a very serious case of 'follicle regression';
I recommend you get a consult from the medical profession!"

With his barber's observations he was not content.
He sought his doc's advice concerning his predicament.
"I have no remedies but this I'll say without hesitation;
Follicle regressive types are very macho, if that's any consolation!"

Tho' they insisted upon calling it "follicle regression",
He never fully understood what they meant by that expression.
Call it what you may, he was certainly not enthralled!
To his utter consternation, simply said, he was going bald!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Devonshire Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 5:51 PM
We're always learning, Bob. I only figured this out a short time ago and I've been on the site for a while. I sent Mitch a note in Soup Mail and posted another note on a different website we both frequent. Love, Carolyn
Kendrick Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 4:53 PM
Great humorous write..Keep the comical pen flowing and keep us smiling..Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my work..Sara
Taylor Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 4:03 PM
Calling it "follicle regression" is just ignoring the "bald" truth! Good one Chief. Thanks for your comments. Have a good weekend. Cheers Ralph
Guzzi Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 3:34 PM
awwww I love to rub those nice bald heads!! Men are so lucky! No one loves a bald woman! Light & Love
Devonshire Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 2:46 PM
"Follice regression" may be a kinder, gentler term, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier for one to accept a "receding hairline," Bob. Why do professionals try to sugar coat everything? Your poem has given me "utter consternation." Cute! Love, Carolyn
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