Notes About The Poem

I came upon notes I had kept of a collaboration I did about fifteen years ago with a friend and which I've never posted. I omitted my friend's beginning stanza (which contained her original ideas) , and I revised the two remaining stanzas (which already were basically my own ideas for the poem's progression) in such a way that now the lines of this new two- stanza poem are entirely my own work. My friend's name was Jan Turner. She disappeared from my life before 2010 and I have no idea if she is even alive because she said she was finished with poetry! I think she would be in her late 70's now! Sure do miss her.

________________________________________________________________________

 

Foghorn

The salty sea mist is a ghost
         which shrouds a hazy sky.
I cannot hide what pains me most.
        Why did you have to die?
I hear a moan as all alone
       I stand - windblown - chilled to the bone.
I hear a moan
        a long lone moan -
             the foghorn's lonesome monotone.

The great North Star is hid from view.
          Like you - it's lost to me.
Somewhere beneath the ocean's blue,
          my fate calls out to me.
I stand now weeping on this pier.
      Oh, why can't you be with me here?
I taste each tear -
              each bitter tear;
Then like North Star . . . I disappear.

June 28, 2020 
for the 'STRAND COMPLETELY NEW(2) any theme any form' Poetry Contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

May Avatar
July 2, 2020 at 9:08 AM
A poignant and well penned verse Andrea, the moan of the foghorn adds to the pain felt, Jan Turner invented a few poetry forms, among them the Alouette and the Florette..
Dietrich Avatar
July 2, 2020 at 7:23 PM
Yes, she invented at least six I think!! And her mom invented even more!! I may be imagining it, but I'm thinking her mom's name was Emily Romano. I can't even think what form this one was but I probably only did each of her forms one time each!
Krutsinger Avatar
July 2, 2020 at 2:45 AM
This one is ethereal and spiritually haunting, Andrea.
Mishra Avatar
July 1, 2020 at 8:49 AM
Such a deep tale woven with sad emotions yet I see a brave heart echoing those words. This is beautiful in a unique way Andrea. Congratulations on your win. Blessings and love :)
Michael Avatar
June 30, 2020 at 12:05 PM
Here today gone tomorrow...I like how you used the sea and the north star...
Deepa Avatar
June 30, 2020 at 7:31 AM
Beautiful imageries drenched in sorrow. Great write mam.Congratulations on your win...:-) I hope your friend is alive.And will pray for you to meet her once.Keep writing.Keep inspiring:-) Have a great day.With love~Deepa
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
June 29, 2020 at 10:05 PM
Alluring words simply resonates, gathering its essence thoughtfully, well done indeed, and my compliments for being recognized for your worthy efforts, achieving 1st Place, Kudos! -- Aloha~@William
Salehi Avatar
June 29, 2020 at 2:53 PM
The eloquence and beauty of imagery...
Hamilton Avatar
June 29, 2020 at 10:27 AM
This is a stunning write Andrea, just what I like, beautiful in it's sadness, love the internal rhyme, this is a fave!
Watt Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 10:57 PM
A tearjerker, this one is. The foghorn's lonesome monotone is captivating imagery. You can just feel the aloneness in your description of the mist and the dark sea and the hidden North Star. So good and so sad.
Wolf Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 4:25 PM
Classic onomatopoeia (did I get that right?) with 'moan.' Shades of an onomatopoeia-type poem I read long ago by Edgar Alan Poe, 'The Bells.' Nicely done, Andrea! Light and Joy, Gershon
Theraven Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:28 PM
Andrea, A fine poem with a starry & storied past. What became of the collaboration that never was? Foghorn reborn. -Richard
Dietrich Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:36 PM
Maybe Jan posted it somewhere! But she never came to PoetrySoup. There were several titles suggested for it. One in my notes had it as a lament, so I am sure this title was not the one used!
Cunningham Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:23 PM
Pining for a love lost, well written Andrea And good luck in the contest. Tom
Rodrigues Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:21 PM
Beautiful and melodic! Love it! I went for alliteration with long lines (not my usual repertoire) for Brian’s contest : Celebratory Sigh
Pandit Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:19 PM
I really like the imagery you created in this write, Andrea. Sure to win first place.
Canerdy Avatar
June 28, 2020 at 3:17 PM
This is so lovely--vividly descriptive, moving, full of longing, Andrea. Janice
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace