Flower

i'm no longer haunted by your kind consuming smiles
fallen walls are caved in and stronger.
my pedals have been plucked
one by one
and once I had no more left
you cursed at how I reacted
how I still stood up

and then months pass and im consumed
I believe it's you.
You suck the nectar dry
squishing the grass around me,
dragging your feet along the grass so the dirt becomes exposed.
every grain of dirt splattering up in a mess
a chaotic puzzle
you knew i'd become weak and fragile
just like you're own soul
damaged. Unattended. Left behind.
Except you didn't know I've lost my pedals often
I've grown accustomed to lose them from every relationship
every lesson,
every winter and holiday spent alone or in argument,
I've been plucked more times than you've even imagined
yet you think you can rip out my heart and pride

Every time I grow back stronger,
a little wiser
and a little calmer
So pluck away. 
I've saved my soul.
I've saved myself 
survived the cold

You're nothing but a candied centerpiece,
always waiting for someone to fix your surroundings
when i'm waiting for my table,
reassuring,
solid,
reliable.
You've given me the ability to see that through
see what I truly deserve

And I hope you too can grow back your pedals

absencebreak upblank verse

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