Flames Fade
Fake smiles everyday when I'm away now that you're not here.
Life feels so listless, so dim.
The candle that you lit has faded as it's meant to,
But it also struck a match to light in another's heart.
We cry, we sigh, we mourn, but we live.
We will always live on, just as I promise you that you always will.
You've let yourself go, but i can't let you go, and I know he'll never let you go.
Sometimes, in times like these, I'll curse this gift,
Perfectly carved and wrapped so sweetly by the fingertips of a master.
It lies in my soul, floating in thin air,
Carried swiftly by the breath of an angel meant to do good, do no harm,
And yet it harms me.
The source of almost all my pain,
It's like the very software that was programmed in me,
Meant for me to do a world of wonders for my people,
Short circuits,
Shocks my kindred spirit.
I feel too much.
There are deep gnashes in my veins from the inside where I couldn't even reach because it isn't I that's doing it.
My capillaries are thinning, thinning, scraped away to almost nothing because I feel too much.
The weight of a universe's wrongdoings are placed on my back making me a mule whose spine is about to burst in two.
You've worked me too hard. I'm draining.
Can't I cut off the life source in my inner self that makes me me?
Can I?
Or will you all miss me?
I do it for my little world, in my tiny hometown, in my humble household.
I absorb the feelings of the world, both good and bad, loving and hateful, utterly blissful and unspeakably gut wrenching, to bring about relief to mankind,
To relate to those who are attacked with thoughts that say no one understands.
I bottle up my powers though, until I'm too full of myself and it all upchucks out in a frenzy in times like these.
Then I rearrange it on a table as a holiday cornucopia for you all to relieve a bit of yourselves in.
I keep myself here for all of you to lean on,
And I promise you I won't ever leave.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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