First Love

First Love You were my hero. You showed up just in time. You saved me… You did all the right things. You said all that I needed to hear. I remember that you had a beard. You laughed easy, and had a great smile. You smelled like motor oil and gunpowder. Sometimes you had an earthy scent like hunting. It made me remember sleeping in a tent…with you. My teeth still chatter, thinking of the cold. Tang and tequila at dawn, warming my nose, tickling my toes. I remember that now when I pass a Big 5. You bought me my first camera. You taught me to see, the whole picture. You trained me to read a map. You made sure I would not get lost. You made me think things through. You told me I could do it. Then, on the day of the test… you said I was the best! (in song on my answer machine) We read books together, We made new paths in the woods. Winnie the Pooh made noises, I had never heard before… until you read the first book, out loud. We were the best of friends. We were life timers. I had to leave. You know that now. You knew that then. It was never going to be okay, In any way. I miss you bear…, but your not there.