Laura Breidenthal | + Follow Poet |
Dramatic Monologue | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

First Impression

Please do not hold me within those claws of unworthiness
As if your judgment alone DEFINES me!
Get out of here, you little baby,
You don’t recognize what’s good for you!
Push away the peas,
But you’re still going to have to eat them!!!!
Your fresh eyes glanced easily upon stupidity,
No, not stupidity—merely mistake!
An innocent, mind-begrudging mistake!
That, yes, I admittedly made. . .

This is not even a scratch on the surface—
Not even a soft powder-pat on your tiny balls
That little trip up you witnessed,
That you misconceived as smart-alecky trash,
That you automatically assumed was ME,
It was YOU
So, rest easy,
I mashed the peas for you:

My heart is pumping with what you will never know
I am bleeding along the surface of your hardened exterior
I am a silly mistake in the form of a slip of the finger—
An acquitted mistake
That I will never make again
(trust me on that one, OLIVER!)

With all the efforts of justification,
You rest your eyes with utter annoyance upon me now
For that human, that CHILD standing there,
Smiling in the light like a sunburned baby’s ass
Is nothing but a diaper-filled disruption—
A **** disturbance uncalled for
But is adequately named, the one who IGNORES

The moment I looked at you, Oliver
I was certain of a sweet heart
It was in your eyes—a trust of kindness so genuine
So attractive you were,
Full of newness—a shiny toy that remains in the box
Limited edition (emphasis on limited)—exclusive….

By Destiny’s pacifying distain,
She taught me I could be crushed of dreams
The moment I fall on my face—
That people are not always who you think they will be
That I could be utterly and undeniably wrong in the good I see
And God, you sir, are so deliberately ugly to me!!!!!!

How’s that for an ETERNAL impression?!  


*Sorry guys. But I needed a raw rant off my chest. Love you guys immensely. If there’s an Oliver that reads this poem on here, I promise I am not aiming this at you babe….just had to make that clear…. XD *

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2016

Please Login to post a comment

Richard Lamoureux Date: 6/22/2016 7:50:00 AM I don't entirely know why but I really loved this piece. There is so much palpable emotion that poured over me. You also injected humour so all I can say is "Amazing!" Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 6/23/2016 7:19:00 AM Thanks so much Richard. Really glad you enjoyed reading this one. <3~Laura

Honestly J.T. Date: 6/20/2016 10:07:00 PM Wow, what a vent. I did enjoy reading this poem -JT Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 6/21/2016 12:35:00 AM Thanks JT! Crazy, huh? There's a lot of underlying emotion in this piece, that reflects a weaker side of my character. I wanted to really put those vulnerabilities in the spotlight. We all act like children sometimes. Its a big peev of mine when people like to define you as something you are not. That's what happened to me. Assumed the worst of me, when, in this case, I didn't mean to offend.. Ah...to be misunderstood...<3~Laura

Timothy Hicks Date: 6/20/2016 12:12:00 PM The crass images are very fitting for your contempt and anger. "Not even a soft powder-pat on your tiny balls" ... I wonder what kind of person this must be, to be compared to a baby getting his diaper changed. Someone overtly coddled to the point of ridiculousness I imagine. It's very therapeutic to get these things off your chest, Laura, and to let off steam in a wordy rage. I do miss your bubbly whimsies, however ... but, of course, you're no one-trick pony. Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 6/21/2016 12:31:00 AM Thank you for understanding, Timothy. It's a pretty vulgar one, and I'm not sure I liked it very much haha, but, it was what I was feeling at the time. Thankfully, it's history now. And we'll keep it there. :) I may return with something more lighthearted, just for you. <3~Laura