First Dog Narrative

Please disregard that I'm a dog. I've been asked to write this monologue by my owner.  What was he thinking? Maybe he has been out drinking.   I always try to be there for him, though I can't use a typewriter, Jim. Sometimes, I wish he'd feel the same way when I want to walk or play. To his girlfriend, he says something dumb, and I'm right there to console the bum, and when he screws up bad, at work, I make him forget his troubles - the jerk. A shrink would charge a hundred bucks. I help him for a dog biscuit, shucks. It's not in my nature to refuse this poor guy who's so confused. I know the reason life is for - a good game of fetch or tug-of-war, and, I admit, when it comes to those, he's fun to play with, I suppose. He gives me a sense of purpose. Heck, I love him, glad to be of service. In conclusion, I think you'll agree that I exemplify loyalty. That, friend, is my little poem, about me and master...let's not show 'im. For a dog, a poem is pretty tough. Next time, I'll just say, "ruff ruff ruff ruff".