Fine
FINE
Fu#!ed up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional
Oh! Sweet boys of mine, Mom wants you to be way more than fine
When I was a single mom and teaching full-time…
I was in my prime and thought, if I can make this climb…all would be sublime
You were just babes of six months and four; some of my most heavenly days were when we three had the time to explore
You were four years apart…also some of my most arduous days… Lonely at night, yet I possessed a heart full of praise
It was a struggle up till then I found unmatched…No one to share the the joys and the burdens attached
Then along came Jimmy, my first true love and comrade…We were finally complete, no longer a triad…I had found you a Real Dad!
We were stronger than ever for eight wonderful years…Then came the sudden loss, followed by years of tears and fears. The sinking feeling my family’s progress now in constant arrears
I do not recall how it was that we survived…I feel that since then my dears have not again thrived
Nine years have both dragged and simultaneously flown by…A year of therapy helped give closure to me…You boys would not partake in the counseling that helped set me free
Blessed with a Besty, though hardly the same…My boys, now young adults make choices that make my heart feign...What a mistake to think for a moment the hardest was behind us…That truth I cannot Wait to attain
The older you grow, now ages nineteen and twenty-three…The deeper my heart is wounded by your self-created (fine lives) lacking the luster of glee
Each of you chose different domains…Both scenarios keep me fraught with pains
As I once more begin to thrive, I bear the suffering of decisions my children continue to contrive
Oh Universe, I implore you…Be kind to my children, let each experience bring them closer to wise
May they seize each day as the gift that it is…bring them out of arrears and closer to striving to Thrive
Mom
Copyright © Jill Spagnola | Year Posted 2016
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