Final Sale

Two shoplifters, when they were caught, Stealing items they just should have bought, Fought their felony charge For their total was large, Adding up to much more than they’d thought. See, their sentence, the thieves had deduced, When the charges had been introduced, Should be lessened, to scale, Since just items on sale Had been stolen, their prices reduced.

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Arlo Parker

Date: 1/3/2024 9:22:00 AM

Clever, but too true today!!! Sadly funny, IB. :o))

Ilene Bauer
Date: 1/3/2024 11:57:00 AM

thanks, arlo! "sadly funny" is a great way to put it!

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 1/2/2024 9:37:00 PM

A good poem for our times. Very good.

Ilene Bauer
Date: 1/3/2024 11:56:00 AM

thank you, hilda! i appreciate the comment...

Terry Flood

Date: 1/2/2024 2:18:00 PM

There’s a certain logic in that, I guess, Ilene. Frankly, I’d quadruple their sentence… after all, ‘first offence’ merely means ‘first time caught’, anything else means ‘repeat offender’. Was this based on true events… it sounds about right for this day and age. Great rhymes and flow, as ever. Happy new year.

Ilene Bauer
Date: 1/3/2024 11:56:00 AM

happy new year to you, too, terry! yes, this was a true story. in colorado, it seems that if you steal under $2000 worth of merchandise, it's a misdemeanor. these two thieves racked up a few hundred dollars over that amount so they figured that, with the sale prices, it would come to under $2000. gotta give them props for chutzpah, though! (a lot of nerve, in yiddish)

Tom Cunningham

Date: 1/2/2024 10:24:00 AM

If I ever go shoplifting I'll aim for the sale items lol. Tom

Ilene Bauer
Date: 1/3/2024 11:53:00 AM

ha! i'd think i'd rather go for the full-price items myself, tom! might as well feel like i'm really getting away with something...

Jim Slaughter

Date: 1/2/2024 10:10:00 AM

Well, it works in theory...at least, I guess. Très amusant, Ilene, and a delightful way to kick off the new year.

Ilene Bauer
Date: 1/3/2024 11:52:00 AM

thanks, jim! this story made me laugh and it definitely seemed "poem-worthy" to me. by the way, the jury rejected their arguments and they were convicted of a felony...