Final Arrangements
Fate someday will determine when our days are concluded,
And those who think otherwise are sadly deluded!
Plans were made to ease my crossing with little compunction,
When I shed these earthly shackles and cease to function!
Since I like things in proper trim, regular and complete,
Plans were made in great detail to impress Old Saint Pete!
I'll enjoy a lovely mountain view from my sepulcher space.
Even a headstone with an epitaph is already set in place!
Arrangements compel me to be laid out in a slumber room,
Amid a forest of flowers that will currently be in bloom.
I wanted to be displayed in my jeans, they don't look so bad.
My spouse said, "No, I'd die of embarrassment if you were so clad!"
The funeral guy showed his caskets, each the top of the line.
I said, "Hold on there! I'd rather repose in a simple box of pine!"
"But sir" said he, "these are made with the most durable metal,
And will see you thro' your eternal bourne in very fine fettle!"
The salesman conducted the transaction with consummate skill,
But I almost died on the spot when he presented the bill!
I'd much rather have spent those bucks on an earth-bound fling!
Folks, if I could, I would just as soon forget the whole blamed thing!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
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