Figuring Out

Warped up lies Illuminated goodbyes The reason I hear his cries Hopefulness and its highs Amid the optimism, hidden inside Utopia and its understanding lifts me higher than high itself and ultimately wins the window of my heart's mind Tribulation and trials has tension between us A lonesome soul like mine is all alone Dealing with determination on a high level Overly divorced with dutiful damage, succumbing to this shame and breakage Ugly beauty is what I see...believe and possibly, have passion and compassion towards us Benevolence shimmers anew and so do you Trying to stay positive through it all...through it all...figuring out the road to tread on at the break of dawn Well and wondering in my shell Idiots like me don't think before we do Tricked into giving in to my tranquility's tulips when I wanted a delighted daisies... Hovering around you like a fly on the wall Obliterate the fantastic flus from our heads and shed away the awry from my awesomeness that I have dug up in my cranium Ups and downs wander off in circles... Too much gratitude before gracefulness, but I adore it so much...I want to cuddle away my cleverness and creep into my bed of bliss A wondrous soul is what I need and I can nourish God's beautiful seed Dreaming on and zooming forward in zealousness O God, please figure me out - you know what I mean? I need a boost no doubt, no doubt Ugliness will blossom into breathtaking...bothersome...blasphemy But, no worries - we will be here at ease to brew away the distress and wrap your wounds...wrap your wounds... Trust me, you catered me too much that I've had enough - I figured out what to do - I will always love you so true....losing touch of reality day by day in dismay...jubilance and joy covers me up in lamentation and then, hits me sideways and under...emotions don't make sense to me anymore...figuring out you no doubt...what do you want from me? I am angry yet so happy...I'm in the shadows while you are an actual being...I'm seeing the unseen and I'm seeing red when I should see green... Grieve no more...I swore you're the one that I adore...I hit you to the core... Hopefully, I don't bruise my mentality and face this reality anymore... Change is a challenging chore...I'm just so bored I hate to be another door to shut and be ignored Because I've been neglected and sore I want to be like an eagle in the sky and soar What are you waiting for? I got to move on and more You have hurt me to the deepest core, depression from below Now, I must show you that I will be happy and be in shallow waters of love to and fro Hoping that this wretchedness would burn into flames I'm sick of your horrendous mind games...games...shame on you And the things you put me through Figuring out recognition from afar and realization that I'm not alone I'm all and all in God's arms and on my own...on my own...on my own... I have been on the phone for many years I have been cheering about it with tears I'm always up and about in the clouds I am afraid of crowds...crowds... I want to think aloud...but it's so loud I'm proud that it's not my fault that you are so greedy and needy and so proud I was a liar from the start, from the start I am sorry sincerely from my heart, heart I don't need your gravitational force on me I need freedom and liberty...clearly...honestly... I got my bling-bling of radiance in my small pocket By accident or on purpose, I feel a lot of regret... I wish I wouldn't feel this anguish, this anguish I wish I can wish it all away...here, I languish Great...I did a terrible, horrendous hatred act... I overreacted...I under-reacted,I, in fact, Am underrated... That's why I hesitated... I feel as if I'm giving up by the minute I feel like throwing a tantrum...a fit... But, I won't Because I don't Mind you abusing what's left of me... Because I can't say no to you, baby Figuring out what to do next So perplexed and so vexed Mixed up in lullabies, lullabies I want to hello your goodbyes I want to hello your goodbyes You had me at hello You had me at hello Figuring out when we can meet again Figuring out if you'd cut off the hen's horrendous head Figuring out if you'd see where I've been Figuring out if you'd hide in the hut and drag away my dread Life is so fast-paced I have to stop and embrace hope without a trace...I guess I was a stalker that has lost life's race I engaged...I engaged... In a silly, stupendous act...of falling heads over heals over you...what a disgrace...what a simply strange disgrace