Feel

Feel the sting of a bee, feel the pain of life, feel love. I'll never feel those things. I've gone numb, my brains gone dumb. I've lost the excitement, the thrill of life. I'm stale I have no color. I've lost the color that use to ooze from beneath my skin. My smile that was once said to light up a room has disappeared. A dark cloud is over my head, all I want to do is sleep in bed. I don't care about anything anymore. The storm is raging it's perilous fight, it shows no mercy it just proceeds to leave debree scattered about this wasteland. I know this is my fault, I let this happen, I know I do have the power. I just don't care I'm to far gone. I've been here before back when I was twelve and thirteen, I've been this way ever since and every day in between. The only bright spot that gives me a flicker of hope is him, my blond haired blue eyed peanut. My survivor that has gone through hell and come shining through. He may be a little boy, but he's my only piece of joy left. I don't know how I got here, I don't know how to fix this. I just don't want to be numb anymore, I want to care. I want to feel.